How do I do it???

Whenever someone doesn't see you for a while and you've done something like change your hairstyle or hair colour, buy a new outfit or lose weight, they generally exclaim "what a transformation" and are happy for you and help you celebrate your achievement. However, in my case I have had a lot of negative responses from family and friends that I have lost enough weight and therefore do not need to lose any more weight.

When I first started my journey at my heaviest, it wasn't to lose weight initially, it was to find out what foods were making me feel so sick. I was eating indigestion tablets like they were going out of fashion, I never left the house without quik-eze in my bag and I dreaded eating anything I hadn't prepared myself in case I had a reaction. So I was pretty much in denial that it was for weight loss reasons, it was to try and get well. I felt dejected that I couldn't eat spaghetti like I used to or anything else that had tomato, onion, garlic or capsicum in it. The vegetables and rice I was eating became a staple food because they were bland and boring and "safe". I was more depressed than ever at that time.

Then I put weight back on over Christmas and New Year and then the months following that and just felt awful about myself. It was only after having a coffee with a friend of mine who was already on Weight Watchers that I discussed my dilemma with her. She explained the program to me and told me to come along and just listen to what they had to say. I was apprehensive, I wasn't sure it was something that I was wanting to do and I didn't know if I would get anything out of it.

Normally I am a compulsive joiner of anything. I have had gym memberships in the past that I didn't use, joined classes and dropped out, started uni and didn't finish etc. and I figured this would be one more thing I would start and not finish. After I started the program I basically ate food within reason of the points I was allowed and went from there. I didn't exercise at all apart from the normal walking I would do to and from the bus stop and from the train to work. I felt proud of losing the first 5 kilos but embarassed at the same time. How could I have carried that weight around for so long and not realised what it was doing to me???

The next milestone of 10% was also the 10 Kg mark. Again I felt proud of myself but still felt awkward. I was made to get up in front of people and tell them how it was that I was managing to do it. It still didn't sink in that I was getting anything out of going. It was only once I got to 15 Kg that I felt good about it but then I had a panic attack about my upcoming cruise, how would I sustain my weight loss whilst on a boat that had food coming out of every porthole??? I relaxed, took the eating in my stride and refused to use the elevators the entire trip unless I was wearing my dressy high heels because a couple of times I nearly fell over on them as the ship moved. I thought long and hard on that trip, could I really make it??? Could I really lose all the weight and find myself again??? I wasn't sure but damn it I was going to try and I wasn't going to beat myself up over it.

As the weeks have gone by, I no longer count on whether I will lose weight, I simply look at the results afterwards and work out the next plan of attack. If I put on, the challenge is there to get it off, if I lose then the challenge is to see if I can beat the loss I posted for that week. I challenge my exercise regime, my eating, anything I can to motivate myself so that I will get there and by george I will because with 9.7 Kg to go, there isn't anything in my way. I'm not due for a heart attack or a diagnosis of diabetes anytime soon and I'm sure as hell not restricted in the movement department. I have my legs, I have my arms, I have my strength and I have my determination, I will succeed!!!!!!!

To all my naysayers out there, take note, when I finish my journey of losing weight, it only means that the next journey is beginning, that one which sees me getting on rides with my children within theme parks and fitting into the seats unlike the year I went to the Royal Adelaide Show and couldn't fit into the chair swing, sees me conquer my fear of heights (funny yes seeing as I am 6 foot tall) and climbing a ladder to clean my upstairs windows properly and one which sees me live life to the fullest with my husband by my side.

Until I post my weigh in results,