Things are not what they always seem.....

For someone who is trying to lose weight the vision of something unhealthy that was once appealing now conjures up images of what vile disease it contributes to. Whenever I see something that once used to pleasure my gastronomical senses, I can no longer view it with the same pleasure I once did. This happened today within my local supermarket as I had to do my weekly food shopping. All the cakes within the bakery, all the full fat ice cream and all the lollies in the confectionery aisle made me think of diabetes and I couldn't get the thought out of my head. I also visualised what the products were made out of and some of them made my stomach churn. I then saw meat pies and other fatty pastries, pre-made dinners, noodle cups and tinned frankfurts and thought not only about the tablespoons and tablespoons of salt that is put into each item but also the saturated fat and how both contribute to heart disease. Those two illnesses alone I fear and so eat better to give my body the best chance in life by eating better food.

For some people, that choice is not on their conscience and I wish it was. Seeing people who desperately need to lose weight in order to save their lives carry on as normal is tragic. As I've travelled on my journey, I have come to realise that I was one of those people all those years ago and it is a very scary thought. With only 10.7 Kg to go, I definitely do not want to go backwards and end up where I was previously.

After having lost 300g this week I have come to the conclusion that in order to go forwards, I must remember where I came from so I shall look at photos of myself for the next week to remind myself what I no longer look like. However, in doing so I must also remind myself that I am no longer obese and no longer weigh over 100 Kg. This task is not easy as I still see myself as needing improvement. Although I have tried on an outfit that I have not worn in 8 years and it fitted, I still felt like I was too big for it, I felt like it didn't belong on me or that I shouldn't be fitting into it just yet, I'm not supposed to yet. I'm supposed to still be overweight, still unhappy and still fitting into size 16 clothes. I'm not supposed to fit into a size 12 business skirt and a size 10 business jacket just yet........or am I?? Maybe the whole point of this was to find out who I really was as a person whilst shedding each kilogram. Or maybe in my tiredness, I have realised that the end is so near that I need to keep my focus, and possibly go to sleep!!!!

Off to the gym later to keep the momentum going.

Until next time,