After 6 weeks I can finally say I am back on track and feeling better. I'm still working on the greater picture but knowing that I have the right tools, the right support and the information I need to succeed, there is no failure.
Failure was something to get my head around in the last two weeks. I thought that by putting weight on it meant that I had failed, or that I had let myself down. All it meant was that I was human and that sometimes life gets in the way. I have definitely learnt that I do not need to go overboard to have a good time, I do not need alcohol to party the night away, I do not need food as a comfort if I am feeling low (I have a bed for that, sleep is the ultimate comfort) and I definitely do not need to be away from people if I am struggling.
After tracking my food for a week I realised it wasn't all that bad. Yes I had indulged a couple of times but it wasn't to the extreme. I did not see the weight police on my door when I did. I do not see my lifestyle as a life-sentence. It is a choice I make, be healthy or feel like I did 3 years ago. My choice, my decision.
This weekend is my birthday. I can honestly say that it feels fantastic to be 32 on Saturday and fit into a size 12. There is nothing more exhilarating than being able to shop inside 2 hours and come out of the stores having spent $150 and having bought 10 items to wear. I did that a few weeks ago and laughed until I could laugh no more. I laughed at all the times it took me 4 hours to find one dress, one jacket, one top, one pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. I laughed at all the times I put something on that looked nice but looked hideous on me. I laughed at the obese person I was and poked fun at the woman who would sit and cry over not being able to wear it and said "look at me now!!!!!". If I don't laugh, then I cry about it. How do you let yourself go to the point where you no longer like what you see in the mirror??
I certainly don't have any answers but I do know that I have been there and now I am back to where I like myself, a size 12 and fighting fit. I can run now without feeling like the Hulk is running, my ankles no longer look like cankles, I have lost the rash from my lower legs and I definitely move better without 25Kg on my body. Pity my "girls" are smaller but that is not a bad thing, my back is thankful.
Life can throw you a curve ball but the question is whether you can catch it and throw it back......I certainly did!
Until next time,
I am so proud of you, seeing the journey you have been on and the up's and down's it has thrown you, you have come out the other side stronger healthier and happier!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the fabulous work you are an inspiration to me!