Week 2 - Operation Get Me Back

Well, after a tough first week of trying to get started with cleaning up my life, I have had a couple of setbacks.

The oven arrived last Saturday and I have been using it to its full advantage. I started cleaning the house and making it look tidy but the vacuum cleaner doesn't work properly and I was going to buy a new one but the model I wanted was sold out.

I have been trying to curb my eating because I've been emotional in the past 4 weeks and just when I thought I was making headway, I jumped on the scales and got upset. Although I've only put on a couple of kilos, it hurts knowing that I've done it to myself by not being vigilant. I'm here to tell you that just because you work hard for something, doesn't mean you can slacken off completely and I thought I was doing ok. Just goes to show I was kidding myself a little so now I am back at it with a bit more of a positive attitude to get my mojo back.

My moods have been nice and even which is good but it is never nice facing the scales and I am afraid of going to Weight Watchers and getting the officially recorded damage written on my card. It's the first time I have been actually petrified of weighing in. How silly is that?? A grown woman afraid of something so simple, but try and tell me that my fear is unfounded......you can't because you are in the same boat as me when you've struggled.

I will weigh in but not until Saturday morning when hopefully I will be in a better frame of mind.

Until next time,

Week 1 - Operation Get Me Back

I have tried my hardest this last week.

In a covert operation known as "Get Me Back" I have tried to bounce back. It started with re-evaluating things in my life - surroundings, people and places. I looked at what makes me happy, what I need to change and what areas need my focus at the moment. So operation "Get Me Back" is now in progress as I shape up my life without any help from self-help books, magical cures, special teas, snazzy equipment or little pills - (ok maybe some little pills).

I have decided that my space needs a clean out. I get this itch every year to clean up my living quarters and throw stuff out that is no longer needed and is just taking up space. I have a number of furniture items screaming for the dump, stuff I have hung onto for no reason etc.

As far as people goes, I feel most happiest around my friends and keeping up with the various areas within my life where my friends are. Be that at my Weight Watchers meetings, church, having coffees with them at various venues or online.

I also felt that I need to be in various places to feel happy too. It is amazing how just spending the day with friends at their house has such an impact on me. Not only am I surrounded by people who love me, but I am also surrounded by peace and understanding. There is no stress and I feel wonderful after the experience. I have realised that I am now a social creature who needs to not only spend time with family, but with friends too. I can't be chained to the house all the time, it depresses me. This was evident last week, but after going out for coffee this week, sleeping extra hours on Tuesday and an ultra busy weekend this weekend, I have no time to be upset and depressed or bored, there is way too much to do!!

I have also cleaned out the rest of my wardrobe, getting rid of old socks that have lost elastic, clothes that are too big/old/worn out, making space for items that require storage etc. The next job is to tackle the housework but I shall be doing it by tackling each room one at a time, pulling it apart, sorting it, storing the needed items properly in the right containers and then cleaning and re-organising what is left.

I am going to get myself back to the way I like myself and my life.

The life gets tackled first as it is the biggest job and as the motto goes:

the only way out of it is into it

Until next time,

The down track

Ok, I have been absent for a while, but then I have been absent most of this week with the way I have felt.

As the week has started I have had really bad PMS and been very upset. This has since spiralled into a depressive state and not something I like to be in. It kind of started last week really but has been continuing and I am now doing what I like to call the cancel game. This is where I go and cancel things I have to do because I am not up for being sociable or having conversations.

It is very hard when you are depressed because you don't feel like eating, exercising or doing much else. I am pushing myself to eat and go to work at the moment but where I can beg off of doing something I am taking the easy option. I know that it isn't right but it is a coping mechanism I developed at a time where I completely fell apart, wasn't eating and dropped a lot of weight. I looked sick at the time. So now the plan is to force myself to eat and function as much as possible which includes going to work, having a shower and getting sleep. I figure the more I try and stick to routine the better it works.

I guess this is the down track of having successfully conquered my weight. I also knew it was coming too because the weather has changed. It is now dark earlier and I've not seen the sun much and I feel slightly stressed. It happens occasionally and is not caused by another illness known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is because around this time it comes close to my birthday and when my birthday comes close I become disjointed as my dad committed suicide in June of 2001.

It is not something that rules my life any more but it does have an impact. I have been down on and off during my weight loss and now that I have finished accomplishing the goal I have to come off of my high that I have been on for the last 8 weeks. It is a byproduct of a good mood. Not a good way to be but then again, I never asked for it, it was dealt in a cruel blow as it is hereditary and my sister has the illness too.

I am trying to pull myself up and get back to being a happy spirit but it does take a while. At the moment I feel very tired, listless, down and out and quite sad. Hopefully we'll see the bouncy Sonya again soon.

Until next time,

I AM THERE!!!!!!

Hi All,

Sorry it has been so long but I've been out enjoying my life and revelling in the fact that I have finally achieved the pinnacle of my mountain......

I AM A LIFETIME MEMBER OF WEIGHT WATCHERS!!!!!!!!!!

I have done my 6 weeks of maintenance and am now well on my way. Having reached the pinnacle I am now coming down off of the high I've been on, you could say the aftermath of being on cloud 9. It is very easy to go back to the way I used to be but I have learnt that there are definitely some things in life I do not want:

1. I do not want to be obese
2. I do not want to be unfit
3. I do not want to lose sight of my big picture
4. I do not want to lose my way
5. I do not want to lose my new found self esteem

These are not options I want. I want to be fit, healthy and happy. I am worth every hard yard and the tears that have gone into it.

I am me and I like me.

Until next time,