After 6 weeks I can finally say I am back on track and feeling better. I'm still working on the greater picture but knowing that I have the right tools, the right support and the information I need to succeed, there is no failure.
Failure was something to get my head around in the last two weeks. I thought that by putting weight on it meant that I had failed, or that I had let myself down. All it meant was that I was human and that sometimes life gets in the way. I have definitely learnt that I do not need to go overboard to have a good time, I do not need alcohol to party the night away, I do not need food as a comfort if I am feeling low (I have a bed for that, sleep is the ultimate comfort) and I definitely do not need to be away from people if I am struggling.
After tracking my food for a week I realised it wasn't all that bad. Yes I had indulged a couple of times but it wasn't to the extreme. I did not see the weight police on my door when I did. I do not see my lifestyle as a life-sentence. It is a choice I make, be healthy or feel like I did 3 years ago. My choice, my decision.
This weekend is my birthday. I can honestly say that it feels fantastic to be 32 on Saturday and fit into a size 12. There is nothing more exhilarating than being able to shop inside 2 hours and come out of the stores having spent $150 and having bought 10 items to wear. I did that a few weeks ago and laughed until I could laugh no more. I laughed at all the times it took me 4 hours to find one dress, one jacket, one top, one pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. I laughed at all the times I put something on that looked nice but looked hideous on me. I laughed at the obese person I was and poked fun at the woman who would sit and cry over not being able to wear it and said "look at me now!!!!!". If I don't laugh, then I cry about it. How do you let yourself go to the point where you no longer like what you see in the mirror??
I certainly don't have any answers but I do know that I have been there and now I am back to where I like myself, a size 12 and fighting fit. I can run now without feeling like the Hulk is running, my ankles no longer look like cankles, I have lost the rash from my lower legs and I definitely move better without 25Kg on my body. Pity my "girls" are smaller but that is not a bad thing, my back is thankful.
Life can throw you a curve ball but the question is whether you can catch it and throw it back......I certainly did!
Until next time,
