Nervous.......

It is the night before weigh in and I'm seriously nervous. I know it is only 200g but the thought of failure just kills me. Up until now I have been happy plodding along at my own pace but it is starting to become reality now. I wish no one had said anything to me, I would have been better off not knowing until I had done it. I've tried so hard not to sabotage it by eating the wrong things, I've exercised a good amount this week and I can feel myself getting stronger just by how little I am feeling the weights I am pushing on the machines and even just lifting myself using the ab bench is a lot easier than before. I know in my heart that I have done well, even just to get this far but it is still a frightening prospect that I will not have lost any weight. Particularly when I weighed in on Saturday only to find that even though it was a morning weigh in purely for my leader's sake, I was 100g heavier and I started panicking. I just hope that it has all evened out and tomorrow night I will get on the scales to find I have lost the 200g and all the stress was for nothing. It is hard though when you get close because you start to think "what if I slide backwards?". You've been overweight for so long that the prospect of being healthy and maintaining your weight is not achievable or seems to hard to get a handle on. I hope that I manage to get there.

Until tomorrow,